Not entirely sure where we went wrong,  I just know that I sincerely upset you.  We are a little less than two weeks away from a year since we spoke last and I find that you are heavy on my mind. 

Whether or not the reasons are justified, please know that I do love you.

I didn't realize how a rumor could cause such grief - at least not until I became older.  After hearing how it affected you I felt ashamed and sick to my stomach but I am sure it was nothing compared to what you went through.  I've told you that I am sorry and answered the many questions you had but I know that it will never change a thing.  I suppose all I can ask of you, if I have that right at all, is to forgive me for my childish antics and know that I really never meant you harm.

I guess in a way I took our friendship for granted, I never realized how true you really were.  It was such a surprise to hear from a warm and caring friend.  Thank you for being you.

I'm sorry

Daddy, a long time ago in an emotional outburst I told you to shut up. I was so upset about how I was treated by someone and you were just trying to help. I wish I could have taken it back as soon as I said it. I know you forgave me, but it was disrespectful. I wish you were here so that I could just say I'm sorry one more time.

You make my heart smile.  When I come home, go to bed, wake up; you are always there for me.  No human could compare.

Your the truest form of love I know.  I didn't realize that until you chose me when I walked passed your kennel in the local kill shelter.  Your unconditional love does not go unappreciated.

I ignored your hands as they reached for mine in hopes you would love another, but you didn't.  I made a point to irritate you so that you'd leave but you wouldn't.  I will never be what you want and so I must be the one to say no.

I am sorry that I wished for bad things in order to never have to face reality.  I am thankful that my wishes never came true.

I dated a girl in high school - she was very beautiful, she had a kind way about herself and very giving.  She will probably never know that

I am sorry that I disappointed you.

It was always easier for me to not love you because you gave nothing in return.  It became a mechanical relationship that was oiled daily just so that we wouldn't have to endure the sounds or our hearts breaking.  Then you spoke first.  'I love you mom, I will miss you.' 

I can see you, hear you and feel you although I am too self absorbed to allow you to enter my life as the gift you are. 

I am sorry that the anger you feel is from the lack of love that I give.

I never got to say why I left you...  Life exists in the inbetween, the sentence unpoken, the line unwritten.  But you are in my thoughts always

Im sorry I wasn't a better brother to you.  Your belief in me never wavered and your loyalty absolute.  Our lives though metered in time the experience of knowing you is immeasurable. Thank you for your friendship

I forgive you

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.  I tried.  I would've given anything and everything just to have you in my life for a bit longer.  It was tough between you and me, you know, in the beginning. I just miss you so much